


wisteria (in your absence)

by kantele



Series: Grindeldore requests [7]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fantasizing, Guilt, Jealousy, M/M, Masturbation, Prompt Fic, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:40:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26881582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kantele/pseuds/kantele
Summary: Albus masturbates to his memories of his time together with GellertPrompt: I read what you said about your writer's block but I was wondering if you could take my Grindeldore request (as soon as you feel inspired, obv). There's this thing roaming my mind about Albus getting himself off out of thinking about his fav encounter w/Gellert. I crave of reading mixed feelings of guilt/jalousy about this because at some point Albus pictures Gellert fucking someone else (which turns him on because he could also be thinking of him by doing this). I hope I was clear haha. Thx!
Relationships: Albus Dumbledore/Gellert Grindelwald
Series: Grindeldore requests [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1334713
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43





	wisteria (in your absence)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for the prompt, and I hope that you like the fic even if it doesn't strictly follow what you had in mind :)
> 
> I wasn't exactly planning it, but this kind of works as a companion piece to a previous fic in this series, [lovers met and departed.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26881069)

Sighing, Albus glanced the clock hanging on the wall opposite him. The numbers on the old grandfather clock glinted in the candlelight, telling him that it was well past midnight. Letting out another sigh, Albus rubbed at his forehead tiredly before looking at the pile of essays he still had left to mark. Usually, he would have been done hours past, but his mind kept wandering away from his task. Namely, it was focused on the small weight he could feel resting on his breast pocket. Distractedly, his hand strayed to the pocket, and he cupped it with his hand. Immediately, he was met with a great wave of magic that surged up to greet him like an old friend. Closing his eyes against the heady feeling of power and love that filled him, Albus slumped back against his chair and let the magic pour over him and twine itself around him like a vine of some great plant.

To his chagrin, he could soon feel his cock stirring on his trousers. He let go of the pendant at once and slapped himself around the face to get his mind back to his grading.

But it was no use. He was far too aware of the pendant, far too aware of the familiar magical signature that pressed against his own like an eager lover. His cock refused to go down, and so, sighing, and with a feeling of great disgust at himself, he put down his pen and palmed himself through the fabric.

Albus let out a groan that sounded loud in the otherwise quiet room. Biting harshly down on his lip to prevent further sounds from escaping - and feeling like a naughty schoolboy as he did so - Albus leaned more deeply into the plush back of his chair and unbuttoned his trousers before pulling himself out. Gasping, he gave himself a few, slow strokes. His other hand wandered to his chest, but he was distracted by the rough feeling of the fabric against his fingers. Letting go of his cock, his fingers grasped hold of his tie, which he pulled off in a smooth motion, and he let it fall carelessly on the floor. Fishing the pendant out his jacket pocket, Albus slipped it around his neck, and one by one started unbuttoning the buttons on his jacket before shrugging it off and letting it join the tie on the floor. Next, he stripped off his vest and undershirt, and as he peeled off those final layers, the cool metal of the pendant came to rest against his chest, where it started pulsing along to the steadily increasing beat of his heart. Tilting his head back, he let his hands drift to his nipples. As Albus caressed himself, he tried to think of anyone besides the man he craved. He tried thinking of the young bartender at Three Broomsticks, the handsome Auror he had met at his last visit to the Ministry, anyone at all that had ever caught his eye, but it was no use, for inevitably, as it always did, his mind drifted back to the summer that was simultaneously the happiest and worst of his life.

 _Gellert’s hands were cool against his skin, and Albus hissed as Gellert twisted one of his nipples. Giving him a playful wink, Gellert bent down and sucked the other one into his mouth. His hands seemed to be everywhere, sliding up to Albus' hair, down his sides, brushing temptingly close to Albus’ cock that arched eagerly against his stomach. Albus’ own hands were in Gellert’s hair, combing it with his fingers and pulling when Gellert was too forceful. Gellert’s mouth moved away from his nipples, up his chest to his neck, where he stayed to suck and nibble at the skin there, which would undoubtedly be bruised later._ _Rather than stopping him,_ _Albus_ _merely_ _craned back his neck to grant him better access and silently reminded himself to wear a high collared shirt tomorrow._

_Albus moved his hands away from Gellert’s hair, sliding them down his naked and eager body to his bottom, and gave him a firm squeeze that startled a laugh out of him. Abandoning his neck, Gellert captured his lips on a sloppy kiss that Albus readily met._

His trousers pushed further down his legs and his cock in his hand, stroking it slowly, Albus could almost feel the puff of Gellert’s breath on his cheek as he pulled away and asked him which way he would like it this time. In his memory, he could hear himself laugh and ask to be fucked, and tears of frustrated guilt and longing gathered into his eyes as he panted into the chilly air of his office, sweat starting to bead his brow.

 _What a blind fool I was_ , he thought, grimacing as his feeling of increasing arousal was invaded by the familiar regret that he carried with himself every day. Abruptly pausing his strokes, Albus let go of his cock and stood up. Thrusting off his shoes, Albus pushed down his trousers and stepped out of them, kicking them carelessly away from him. Albus grasped his nightshirt off a cloth stand and pulled it on before splashing cold water onto his face. As he went about preparing himself for bed, he tried to ignore the warm swell of his arousal, but to his bitterness, his erection would not subside.

Finally giving in, Albus walked over to his bed and laid down. Pulling up his shirt, he grasped hold of his cock again and started lazily stroking it as he let his mind drift back to that encounter, willing himself to ignore the twirling feeling of guilt and disgust in his gut.

_Gellert’s mouth now enclosed his cock, popping up and down as he made Albus lose his mind to the wet warmth that surrounded his cock. His fingers tightened in Gellert’s hair, his toes curling against the fabric of his cape that they had thrown to the floor to work as makeshift bedding. Gellert’s clever fingers were already pushing inside of him, curling against his prostate. Impatient, Albus pulled him up by his hair and spread his legs as wide as he could in silent invitation. Gellert crawled eagerly along his body so that they were face to face, before grasping his cock and letting it brush against Albus. Letting out an impatient noise, Albus slapped him gently on his side, which made Gellert let out a laugh that reverberated between their bodies. Albus couldn’t help but smile at the sound, but it soon turned into a gasp as Gellert entered him._

Albus was panting now, his gasps loud in the room as he stroked his cock along the imaginary thrusts of Gellert’s body, his hips moving slightly to the rhythm. He desperately wanted to stop, to imagine anyone else but the man who had murdered countless people, many of them people that he had known, some of them people he had taught and cared for since they were but children. But Gellert’s magic flowing from the pendant would not let him, as it wrapped around him and filled his senses only with Gellert, Gellert’s magic, Gellert’s presence, Gellert’s soft voice, panting into his ear- 

No amount of recounting his sins could stop Albus’ feverish longing, nor could imaging the disappointed eyes of the dead who haunted his every waking moment. His back arched as a strong tremor passed through him. The dead vanished from his mind one by one, taking their disapproval with them as they were overtaken by the force of the memory.

_Gellert was warm and soft against him, his skin glistening with sweat, a lock of his hair dangling just across his white eye as he moved over Albus, his hard cock driving into him, the force of his thrusts sliding them across the silky fabric of the cape. Panting, Albus stared into his eyes, mesmerised as always by the dual nature of them; one as black as the darkest night, and one as pale as the brightest light. One of his hands was digging into Gellert's back, leaving scratches on his back as he moved, the other he raised to brush away the lock of hair. Gellert smiled at him, and it was not one of his cold smiles, that reminded one of a freezing wind rushing through the moors, but a warm one, like sunlight peeking out from behind a cloud. It left Albus breathless for a reason entirely unrelated to their current activity until Gellert's hand closed around his cock, and the breath was knocked out of him for real._

Panting harshly, Albus jerked across the mattress as he could feel his climax approaching.

 _They could never understand,_ he thought feverishly _,_ his eyes seeing not the ceiling of his room, but Gellert's eyes and that smile he had given him on that day, long ago _, they could never understand what he was to me, the effect he had on me, they could never understand_ _-_

He reached out his hand and twisted his nipple with a cry. Tears gathered into his eyes. He was so close; he was so very close.

 _In his head, the memory shifted shape. Instead of lying on his back on the floor,_ _Albus_ _was now standing, watching two forms_ _embracing_ _on the floor. He walked closer and saw with a sharp shock that he was looking at Gellert, Gellert as he was now, his strong back muscles flexing as he thrust_ _into the man under him. A sudden, cold rage grew inside_ _of him as_ _he_ _walked briskly closer until he could see the man’s profile, but his head was turned away, and Albus couldn’t see, all he could see was Gellert’s face as he twisted his head to look up at him, his cold gaze changing into a wicked smirk as he saw Albus looking, and-_

With a gasp, Albus came with a sudden force. His semen splattered onto his stomach in sharp bursts. He kept stroking himself through the aftershocks, feeling tender, and trembling with the force of his release. Still breathing heavily, he slumped against the mattress, feeling boneless. His emotions were a confusing tangle of jealousy, guilt and contentment brought on by his release. His thoughts drifted to the turn his fantasy had taken, back to the nameless, faceless man that Gellert had been fucking. His heart gave a painful squeeze in his chest as he tried to shake it loose from his mind, but the thought of Gellert taking on another love would not budge. 

_Stop it,_ Albus told himself firmly, _you have no claim over him, and neither should you wish you had._

But his heart rarely listened to his mind, much to his frustration. Sighing, he grasped at the pendant on his chest, that was now warm and pulsing, as if it was living, beating heart and not a cold, lifeless object via which Albus had foolishly bound his heart and soul to another for eternity. The act brought him no calm, but only increased his irrational resentment of a man that may very well not even exist. He felt a great emptiness fill him, and in a fit of despair, he wrestled the pendant off his neck and threw it into the corner of the room, where it landed with a faint clitter. Throwing his hand over his eyes, Albus tried to prevent bitter tears from escaping as the aftermath of his release rapidly faded to disgust and disappointment that roiled in his stomach. He felt spent and foolish, judged by the eyes of the dead who stared down on him from the dark. 

Wrestling his blanket over him, Albus huddled under it and curled into himself like a child afraid of monsters hiding under his bed. But there was no hiding from himself.

 _Curse you, Gellert, curse you_ , he thought, as he closed his eyes and tried to will himself to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: wisteria plant can strangle the trees it wraps itself around ;)
> 
> Leave a review, I love them!
> 
> My Tumblr; bloodtroth


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